Tips To Overcome Loss
by chris
Views: 98
- Use the ‘empty chair’ technique: Place an empty chair in front of you and imagine the person, God, the feeling, etc. to be in that chair. (You may want to place a photo or symbol in the chair to help you.) Talk to that person or thing, saying everything you want to say at that time. Yell, blame, whatever you need to do.
- When you feel like you are ’stuck’ in a feeling or thought, try the following:
- Either inside or outdoors walk or sit still and simply count every object you lay your eyes on. You notice a tree-1, a leaf-2, the bug by your foot-3, etc. Keep counting without lingering or thinking about the object until you feel ‘done’ counting. You might feel done at 20 or at 200!
- Then as you focus your attention again on the objects around you, instead of counting, say something to that object. Example: “You are a stupid tree sitting there doing nothing.” “You are such a blah color.” etc. Continue until you feel ‘done’.
- The object of this is not so much that you have any insight, but that you focus your attention outward to the objects around you. It forces your attention out, and helps you step out of being stuck inside.
- Another way to focus attention outward is to go for a walk and to notice things as if for the first time. Touch them, smell them.
- Put on music and act out your feelings through movement. Then act out what you want to feel instead. You can also ‘pray’ through movement and music allowing your movements to express whatever is inside you to God.
- Learn a form of meditation or centering prayer–a word to which you can keep returning your attention.
- Create a box that is a ‘burial ground’ for unwanted intruding thoughts or feelings. Keep slips of paper nearby and when the thought or feeling ‘intrudes’, simply write it down briefly and ‘bury’ it in the box.
- Make time to fully experience your feelings. Put on sad music and let yourself cry.
- Create ‘grieving periods’. Create a time when you can be alone to look through mementos of your relationship and let yourself feel what you feel and express it. You may want a friend in the house, but in another room so that you can feel free to feel and express what you need to. They are there just as a support if you need them.
- See a counselor with whom you feel comfortable talking about what’s going on for you.
- For anger, some people find it helpful to pound a pillow with their hands, to use a foam bat to strike a photo, to simply scream out their rage (in car with windows rolled up is great!), to do vigorous physical activity/exercise, dance, furiously clean house or yard.
- For other feelings try wailing out loud like you see in movies to express pain or loss. You may want to growl or make other noises to express what you’re feeling. Be an animal and express feelings like that animal would—hiss, roar, curl up, hide, etc.
- For self comfort, find something that represents you–a doll, a stuffed animal, and hold it, comfort it, tell it what it needs to hear. Allow that object to represent the vulnerable part of you, the Child that is scared or alone or mad. You be the adult and comfort the child.
- When you can’t sleep at night, one of the best remedies is a glass of orange juice—honest!
- A massage can be a wonderful treat to yourself–to relax, reduce stress, pamper yourself, and be touched in a healing and non-sexual way. Helps satisfy hunger for touch.
- Hang around people who give lots of hugs, touches. Ask for them when you need them.
- Do something nice for someone else. Volunteer if you have spare time to give.
- Rent old “Candid Camera” or other funny videos and have a good laugh.
- Spend time in nature to relax your mind and heart.
- Visit the self-help section of Barnes & Noble bookstore (or other store) to find info on any possible area of growth and healing you might need. You can sit at a table or in a big chair and read a section right in the store.
- Check out support groups.