Maintaining long distance bonds
Neither a break-up time bomb nor a recipe for relationship disaster, long-distance relationship offer the best of both worlds!
I’ve interacted with many couples who are in a long-distance relationship and my conclusion after looking at these happy couples is that it does provide the best of both worlds. Take the case of Kelly Page. Married to a shippie, she meets her husband twice a year for 2 months. “It is certainly the best time in our lives. We are now married for 14 years, but even today the thought of meeting him sets my heart a flutter. Also all these years have made me fiercely independent and I have my own set of activities and social circle, but yet the time spent with my husband is what I cherish the most. I prefer this space in our relationship”
Like Kelly there are many who are totally for long distance relationships.
It gives them the space to be themselves and at the same time they are able to preserve the freshness of their relationship! Here are a few learnings from them you could use, if you are also getting into one.
1. Trust matters: One of the most important factors in any relationship is that of trust, and when you are in a long-distance relationship it becomes all the more vital. But you need to be smart too; the idea isn’t to trust blindly. Make friends in the vicinity of your mate’s house, and subtly keep a check on him without both knowing you are doing so. Never make it obvious. Once in a while drop in unexpectedly, but don’t make a habit of it, it will become obvious.
2. Keep communication open: Be in touch with your mate. Online chats, telephone conversations and having him on your mind plays an important role in maintaining a long distance relationship. If you feel something isn’t right, talk openly about it, resolve all your fears and insecurities. It will only strengthen the bond.
3. When you meet, make sure you both have a memorable time: Make a list of all that you want to do when your mate comes over and do it all. Tell him to do the same. This will make both of you look forward to the
time spent with each other.
4. Try not to be on your best behaviour when your partner’s around, the advice is to be yourself. This will ensure that there aren’t any false expectations when the two of you eventually start living together.
5. Know each other’s social circle: It is important to know each other’s friends and social circles well. Otherwise when either of you go visiting, it will become awkward if you aren’t familiar with each other’s friends. This will also give you both a feeling of acceptance, which is important in the relationship.
6. Talk out about the future: Don’t keep pushing the issue of who will eventually move in, under the carpet. It is necessary to resolve whatever conflicts arise in this matter in the initial stages itself, otherwise later the issue will snowball into a larger crisis.
