The concept of paying yourself first can also be applied to loving and forgiving. Sometimes to love and forgive ones self is a payment of a different kind, and the value is priceless.

Ii is an art of letting go of stuff, that to let go of a habit, internal program, or to change your attitude toward someone or something, the first place to begin is with the person in the mirror. And by the way, I have not perfected that art of letting go of stuff for it is a never-ending process of learning that will last a lifetime.

Paying yourself first, when it comes to forgiveness means – starting with you. Forgiving your self is the only way that you will be able to forgive any one else. It is true.

Letting go of stuff includes forgiveness. Walt Kelly, in a 1970 Pogo comic strip wrote, “We have met the enemy, and he is us.” I interpret that to mean that we must first point fingers at us, before pointing them at anyone else. Constantly asking, what was my role in this situation? What was my role in the failure of this relationship? What was my role in the altercation with that person? What was my role as I argued with that person? The list of phrases and situations to articulate in forming the end of the question, “what was my role…” is endless.

Just as we should be liable for our role, we must also be willing to forgive our selves for our part, particularly if the outcome of a particular situation was unwanted.

Begin with you. Forgive yourself first. Love yourself the most. By doing these things, you will in effect, pay yourself first.

How do you forgive yourself? It is just as easy as financially paying yourself first. You must love yourself enough to do so. You must make a sacrifice. You must change your thought patterns. I will give you some steps for forgiving your self. But first let me talk a little more about this whole forgiveness thing, ‘cause it is important.

Forgiving yourself is crucial to forgiving others. According to Harvey Mackay, if you want to get even with someone, then forgive and really get them back. Forgiveness allows you to move from a place of pain and suffering to a place of peace and harmony. For many, holding on to pain, anger, frustration, resentment, and the like is slowly eating away at your mental and spiritual being, and eventually will destroy your physical being. So forgive, and begin with you.

Here are some steps that will put you on the path for self-forgiveness.

1. Make a list of those you need to forgive (be honest and include your self)

2. Forgive your self by literally looking in the mirror, at you, and saying, “I forgive you for…”

3. Give yourself permission to forgive by making a claim that it is okay for you to forgive those on your list.

4. Now, when you forgive those on your list, you must accept their response, no matter what it may be. They may not accept your forgiveness. If they do not accept, you must still accept that and let it go. You can’t force them to accept your forgiveness. Remember you are doing this for you, not for them.

5. Contact each person on your list and genuinely forgive them by saying to them, “I forgive you for…”.

This procedure of forgiving my not always be easy, but it is definitely worth it. You may find that you will be spiritually fed if you allow yourself to experience this or some other process of self-forgiving. Forgiving allows you to become better at the art of letting go of stuff, which then allows you to move forward in your life. So pay yourself first and forgive the one who matters the most – you.

Without a doubt one of the greatest encumbrances to the health and longevity of our relationships is the balance in the relationship between self protection and extending our self to promote the relationship.

Togetherness

Also in a “perfect relationship” we would take steps to foster the relationship. We would mull over the needs and weaknesses of the other, we would spend time cultivating common interests, working through conflicts in a sensitive ways and compromising on many levels for the greater good of the relationship.

Detachment

Preferably in a “perfect relationship” we are able to protect ourselves by being able to say no when we need to walk away from conflict, go outside the relationship to meet certain emotional, intellectual, and friendship needs, or just be free to pull away temporarily to nurture ourselves.

Our relational responsibilities

This is basically a personal responsibility issue. We all have a commitment to be as healthy as possible and when we choose to forsake healthy behaviors we cannot meet other obligations. The bottom line is whenever your own well being is in direct contrast to fostering a relationship you are out of balance and you and the relationship will inevitably suffer.

This is without a doubt one of the dynamics most commonly wrapped up in my clients lives no matter what other issues they are dealing with. If you were not raised in a family (and many were not) that taught personal self-care as a good and healthy thing this may be foriegn to you. For example:

-It is good to step back from a relationship when you have become a sounding board for a habitual whiner.

-It is good to say no if you can’t freely say yes.

-It is not good and healthy to have a personal policy that always puts others needs before your own.

-It is good and even imperative to remove all support from someone who is engaging in self-destructive behavior.

In some families obligation to one’s self is seen as disloyalty or disrespect. Where openly speaking your mind is considered rude and unloving. It can be difficult to begin bring balance to these situations. But across the board to achieve a healthy meaningful relationship with anyone means finding the balance between fostering self-care and nurturing the relationship.

Out of balance

If we make a mistake on one side or the other the relationship will bear. Whether we become personally distressed because the relationship has taken too high of a priority and we become unhappy and drained, or we detach to such a degree the bonds of the relationship begin to erode and weaken. Maybe it no longer meets the needs commonly associated with a healthy relationship love, connection, shared activities, emotional support etc.

Could your busy life be the cause of your child’s temper bad temper? When baby has a meltdown or a toddler has a blowup, we often lay the fault on everything. But, could the increasing number of tantrums be much less physiological in origin than we would care to believe? Are we guilty of being more attentive to our children when they are bad than when they are being good?

No doubt that illness can make a baby irritable and ill tempered. We all have had the unpleasant experience of being awakened from a sound sleep by a child screaming from the pain of an earache or some other physical problem. These episodes are completely unrelated to the garden variety temper tantrums that might result from a parent interfering in some delightful activity that might be causing chaos like spreading peanut butter on the wallpaper.

It’s explicable that your child would be unhappy under these circumstances, but what about those times when for no reason the temper crabbiness burst forth for no reason? If there is no illness or unwanted reprimand to blame it on, what could be the cause? Perhaps the root of the problem is found in the behavior of the caretaker or parent in charge rather than some underlying condition on the part of the child.

Modern parents have a lot on their hands. They want a career with the money and accomplishments that comes with it as well as a warm and loving family. Sadly, neither careers nor families can flourish under these neglectful circumstances. Unless the family is nourished and tended there are a number of things that may go awry. Temper tantrums are often a manifestation of a child that is feeling lonely or uncared for. Put quite simply, the child is acting up to get more attention.

I have seen more than one case where a smiling, sunny tempered baby turned into a very angry behavior problem because mom and dad didn’t see the warning signs. A mild mannered baby was taken for granted and virtually ignored. At some point the child began to think that the way to get more attention was to whine. Parents are encouraged by childcare experts to overlook occasional whining so when a low level complaint is not heeded; the volume goes up until the whine becomes a scream or a temper tantrum on a grand scale.

Once things go this far, the fix is not an easy one. It is far easier for children to be given the praise and attention that they long for for being good than to have to deal with temper irritability and learn how to handle them later.

• Answer the phone by LEFT ear

• Do not drink coffee TWICE a day.

• Do not take pills with COOL water.

• Do not have HUGE meals after 5pm.

• Reduce the amount of OILY food you consume.

• Drink more WATER in the morning, less at night.

• Keep your distance from hand phone CHARGERS.

• Do not use headphones/earphone for LONG period of time.

• Best sleeping time is from 10pm at night to 6am in the morning.

• Do not lie down immediately after taking medicine before sleeping.

• When battery is down to the LAST grid/bar, do not answer the phone as the radiation is 1000 times.

    Simple tips for Effortless Success

• Gain confidence, let go of your limiting doubts, and begin to achieve your goals.

• Changing yourself from the inside out will improve your relationships with those you value most.

• Letting go of all the fear, anger, anxiety and stress will result in a vastly improved health and quality of life.

• Learn to reclaim your decision-making ability from your limiting emotions

• Develop the ability to make stronger and clearer choices

• Achieve your goals and aspirations as opposed to sabotaging them

• Learn to change yourself from the inside out and make those changes permanent

• Learn techniques for dissolving resistance

• Experience peace, harmony and unqualified happiness

• Greater ease, effectiveness, and joy in daily activities

• Communicate more open and effectively

• Understand the nine emotional states and how to uncover and live as “peace”Recognize how resistance is slowing your progress and what to do about it

• Understand the most powerful goal crafting and creation process