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Compromising in relations

Saturday, June 28th, 2008

compromise.bmpCompromising is very much like setting boundaries, or drafting an agreement or honoring a commitment. These are basic skills for life in general and are important skills for a successful relationship with co-workers, friends and also love relationships.

Too many people feel that compromise takes away from who they are as an individual, or is a sign of weakness or makes them appear to be the passive partner in a relationship. Compromise is nothing like that at all unless you make the wrong compromises!

Knowing how to compromise is a key component to a healthy and relationship of any type that you hope will last a long time or perhaps a lifetime. Without the willingness and ability to compromise, your work, friendship and committed relationships can be at risk for failure. If you have experienced failed relationships in your past, now is the time to break those old habits and create new ones.

What are ‘wrong compromises’? Wrong compromises are where you have you suffered a loss when you compromised with someone. If a compromise makes you feel taken advantage of or wronged then it is not a healthy compromise in any type of relationship.

Keep in mind when making a compromise you need to keep three key elements in play:

1. Mutual respect for all involved

2. Complete honesty in how you feel and think

3. Good intentions and good will for all involved

Before you compromise with anyone about anything, create some basic ‘rules’ or guidelines that each person agrees to and will honor during the conversation regarding what you are trying to compromise on. Below are a few you can use or modify to fit your relationship.

· It is unacceptable to all parties involved that anyone will experience a substantial loss.

· It is crucial to the success of the compromise that each person trust that the other will not take advantage of him or her or otherwise harm the other(s) in any way.

· It is a mutual agreement that each person involved commits to as close to a win/win result as is possible.

· Neither person will agree to a compromise if he or she thinks or feels they can not or will not be able to live with the compromise.

Be sure to add any others that will help you become willing and able to compromise. Write them down if that helps keep everyone on the same page. Update them as your relationship progresses and perhaps your thoughts and feelings on issues change.

There should be no room for fears or past behavior. No one in any relationship wants to deal with an old, injured part of you! Put those past behaviors and thought patterns behind you and create a fresh new mindset for all your future relationships!

Become the full expression of your passionate, loving and wonderful self. Repair the disillusionment and disappointment from the past by trusting yourself to make the right choices, seeking counsel if you feel you are not making a right choice and be totally open and honest with those you have relationships with whether in a work, personal friendship or love relationship situation.

Become willing to be your best self in the here and now and act from your authentic, integrated self. You’re worth it!

Maintaining long distance bonds

Friday, June 27th, 2008

Neither a break-up time bomb nor a recipe for relationship disaster, long-distance relationship offer the best of both worlds!

Long Distance RelationshipsI’ve interacted with many couples who are in a long-distance relationship and my conclusion after looking at these happy couples is that it does provide the best of both worlds. Take the case of Kelly Page. Married to a shippie, she meets her husband twice a year for 2 months. “It is certainly the best time in our lives. We are now married for 14 years, but even today the thought of meeting him sets my heart a flutter. Also all these years have made me fiercely independent and I have my own set of activities and social circle, but yet the time spent with my husband is what I cherish the most. I prefer this space in our relationship”

Like Kelly there are many who are totally for long distance relationships.Long Distance Relationships It gives them the space to be themselves and at the same time they are able to preserve the freshness of their relationship! Here are a few learnings from them you could use, if you are also getting into one.

1. Trust matters: One of the most important factors in any relationship is that of trust, and when you are in a long-distance relationship it becomes all the more vital. But you need to be smart too; the idea isn’t to trust blindly. Make friends in the vicinity of your mate’s house, and subtly keep a check on him without both knowing you are doing so. Never make it obvious. Once in a while drop in unexpectedly, but don’t make a habit of it, it will become obvious.

Long Distance Relationships2. Keep communication open: Be in touch with your mate. Online chats, telephone conversations and having him on your mind plays an important role in maintaining a long distance relationship. If you feel something isn’t right, talk openly about it, resolve all your fears and insecurities. It will only strengthen the bond.

3. When you meet, make sure you both have a memorable time: Make a list of all that you want to do when your mate comes over and do it all. Tell him to do the same. This will make both of you look forward to theLong Distance Relationships time spent with each other.

4. Try not to be on your best behaviour when your partner’s around, the advice is to be yourself. This will ensure that there aren’t any false expectations when the two of you eventually start living together.

5. Know each other’s social circle: It is important to know each other’s friends and social circles well. Otherwise when either of you go visiting, it will become awkward if you aren’t familiar with each other’s friends. This will also give you both a feeling of acceptance, which is important in the relationship.

6. Talk out about the future: Don’t keep pushing the issue of who will eventually move in, under the carpet. It is necessary to resolve whatever conflicts arise in this matter in the initial stages itself, otherwise later the issue will snowball into a larger crisis.

Why men prefer to stay single?

Wednesday, June 25th, 2008
by Sck

In what may explain why most men these days prefer staying single, a new survey in Australia has revealed that most men are afraid of a bad marriage.

Why men stay single?

SinglesThe survey involving 1500 heterosexual men showed that men were 10 times more scared of marrying the wrong person than of never getting married at all.

The survey found that about eight per cent of the respondents didn’t want to marry, 62 per cent wanted to marry, of which half won’t settle for anything less than perfection, and about 30 per cent who are on the fence.

Four out of 10 bachelors did not want children, compared to three out of 10 wanting to be a father. The rest were undecided.

Moreover, financial issues, both positive and negative, played a crucial role in men’s fear of commitment.

“I wanted to give some women an insight into why some smart, successful men opted toSingles stay single - and help lifelong bachelors understand why they are still the solo man at parties,” the Courier Mail quoted Carl Weisman, 49-year-old bachelor, who conducted the online survey to research his book, as saying.

“Those with little money said they would have nothing to offer a partner, with some suffering self-esteem issues and withdrawing from the dating pool,” said Weisman.

“While those who are financially sound were terrified what a bad divorce could do to them,” he added.

Planning for your dream wedding??

Saturday, May 31st, 2008

Did he propose, and you said “Yes!”? If so, congratulations! You are about to embark on one of the greatest journeys known to mankind: marriage.There are lots of emotions that swirl around an engagement. Don’t let one of them be stress, due to not knowing how you will plan for the big day.

The first thing you need to do is to set a budget for how much you and your beloved want to spend on the blessed event. Once you have set the limit, do everything in your power to stay within the boundary you have determined. This will keep your stress level from skyrocketing in and of itself.

Once you’ve done that, if you want help, now is the time to look for a wedding coordinator. But if you’re like me, you want to be in charge of the most intimate details surrounding your wedding day.

Then, you have to get your wedding party list together. You want to make sure all of the ladies and men who will serve as bridesmaids and groomsmen have ample time to get their finances together to rent or buy tuxes and dresses.

Don’t forget about the parents of the precious little junior bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girl and ring bearer. You want them to have the finances available for the items they will need to purchase for these little ones, too.

Once you’ve recognized this, it’s time to select a wedding location and the site for the wedding reception. If you are a member of a church already, if it will hold the number of attendees you expect, that is a good place to start in determining a location.

Shopping for the wedding gown is usually the bride’s favorite part of preparing for her wedding day. To save money, a lot of soon-to-be wives are opting for rental gowns. You can get a designer gown at a rental shop from $75 to $300! Which isn’t a bad expenditure for something most only wear once and for a few hours!

Based on your wedding location, get in your mind’s eye the décor you want to display for not only your viewing pleasure, but that of your guests. Do you prefer candelabras or beautiful flower arrangements and ribbons? The good news is, it’s your day, and the choice is yours.

If you have enough time, Save the Date cards are fun little reminders that can be sent out before your invitations. Your invitations should go out at least a month in advance. There are so many styles to choose from these days. Remember your theme, and go with that, and you’re sure to make the best decision in selecting them.

Don’t forget the photographer and videographer. Make sure you capture every moment, so you can look back and cherish the day you and your beloved became one.

But whatever you decide to do, just make sure you make your wedding day a day that brings back sweet memories that was enjoyed not only by you, but by everyone in attendance that special day.

12 Easy steps to decorate baby nursery

Saturday, May 31st, 2008

Decorating a baby nursery can be a somewhat intimidating prospect, especially if you are a first time Mom. There are so many decisions to make, so little time. You feel a stress-attack coming on. Wait. Stress is not good for baby.

Relax. Take a deep breath. Baby nursery design can be fun, if you take it one step at a time…

Step 1: Baby safety is your first concern. Be sure to take this into account throughout the baby nursery design process.

Step 2: Decide on a room style. Cute, modern, traditional, ethnic, the choice is yours.Baby Nursery This decision will affect your furniture, theme and color scheme choices.

Step 3: Select a baby crib. The crib will form the focal point of your baby nursery. Take your time and choose wisely. Shape, style, finish and durability are among the factors you should consider.

Step 4: Find baby nursery furniture to complement your crib. Essential furniture items include: a baby changing table; a rocker or glider; a night stand or table and a nursery hamper.

Step 5: How will you provide nighttime light in the nursery? A dimmer switch, sconce, chandelier or nightlight, are among your options. Choose more than one if you like.

Step 6: Choose your baby nursery flooring. Do you want it to match the rest of your home? Do you or your spouse have a history of allergies? Baby may be susceptible too. Take this into account when you make your choice.

Step 7: Decide whether or not you would like to decorate with a nursery theme. Anything goes from cowboys to flowers, pirates to butterflies. Or something more modern, such as blocks or stripes.

Step 8: Work out a color scheme. This will be influenced by your nursery theme if you have chosen one. If not, be guided by the room style you chose in step 2. For example, soft pastels will work with cottage but burnt orange, creams and browns are a better idea for modern.

Step 9: Decorating the baby nursery. Now that the practical stuff is out of the way, get on with the really fun part. Choose your paint, wallpaper, mural, pictures, bedding. Buy stuff, sew stuff, glue stuff. Let the room come alive and move in your furniture.

Step 10: Hang your nursery curtains. Add a block out blind if you want baby to sleepBaby Nursery well!

and…

Step 11: Go shopping. Time for that great baby nursery shopping spree you’ve been waiting for. What’s on your list of things to buy?

* Equipment for the baby nursery. For example, a breathing monitor.

* Things for baby’s layette. For example, diapers and tiny booties.

* Goodies to keep baby happy. For example, a crib mobile and a baby gym.

* Cool baby gear. For example, a stroller and diaper bag.

Step 12: Finally, pack away those entire little baby goodies. Sit back, relax and wait for baby to come and change your life forever.

Baby Nursery



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