Without a doubt one of the greatest encumbrances to the health and longevity of our relationships is the balance in the relationship between self protection and extending our self to promote the relationship.

Togetherness

Also in a “perfect relationship” we would take steps to foster the relationship. We would mull over the needs and weaknesses of the other, we would spend time cultivating common interests, working through conflicts in a sensitive ways and compromising on many levels for the greater good of the relationship.

Detachment

Preferably in a “perfect relationship” we are able to protect ourselves by being able to say no when we need to walk away from conflict, go outside the relationship to meet certain emotional, intellectual, and friendship needs, or just be free to pull away temporarily to nurture ourselves.

Our relational responsibilities

This is basically a personal responsibility issue. We all have a commitment to be as healthy as possible and when we choose to forsake healthy behaviors we cannot meet other obligations. The bottom line is whenever your own well being is in direct contrast to fostering a relationship you are out of balance and you and the relationship will inevitably suffer.

This is without a doubt one of the dynamics most commonly wrapped up in my clients lives no matter what other issues they are dealing with. If you were not raised in a family (and many were not) that taught personal self-care as a good and healthy thing this may be foriegn to you. For example:

-It is good to step back from a relationship when you have become a sounding board for a habitual whiner.

-It is good to say no if you can’t freely say yes.

-It is not good and healthy to have a personal policy that always puts others needs before your own.

-It is good and even imperative to remove all support from someone who is engaging in self-destructive behavior.

In some families obligation to one’s self is seen as disloyalty or disrespect. Where openly speaking your mind is considered rude and unloving. It can be difficult to begin bring balance to these situations. But across the board to achieve a healthy meaningful relationship with anyone means finding the balance between fostering self-care and nurturing the relationship.

Out of balance

If we make a mistake on one side or the other the relationship will bear. Whether we become personally distressed because the relationship has taken too high of a priority and we become unhappy and drained, or we detach to such a degree the bonds of the relationship begin to erode and weaken. Maybe it no longer meets the needs commonly associated with a healthy relationship love, connection, shared activities, emotional support etc.

• Answer the phone by LEFT ear

• Do not drink coffee TWICE a day.

• Do not take pills with COOL water.

• Do not have HUGE meals after 5pm.

• Reduce the amount of OILY food you consume.

• Drink more WATER in the morning, less at night.

• Keep your distance from hand phone CHARGERS.

• Do not use headphones/earphone for LONG period of time.

• Best sleeping time is from 10pm at night to 6am in the morning.

• Do not lie down immediately after taking medicine before sleeping.

• When battery is down to the LAST grid/bar, do not answer the phone as the radiation is 1000 times.

Very often, you drink a can of liquid diet shake to replace either breakfast or lunch. Is it okay to continue to replace one meal a day with these diet shakes, or are you doing gradual damage to your digestive system?

Recently, there has been a explosion in the number and types of diet and weight-loss nutritional programs. While many of these programs and supplements are safe, one must keep in mind the fundamentals of good health and nutrition. It is important to consume a healthy diet rich in the necessary vitamins and minerals that our bodies need. In addition, a balance between fats, protein and carbohydrates should be maintained. Diets that promote either over- or under-consumption of one of these nutrients are likely to be unhealthy or ineffective in the long run. Another important dietary ingredient is fiber, both for its heart-protecting properties and for its benefits in preventing colon cancer and possibly other types of cancer.

While one cannot comment on the specific diet shake you use, it is probably okay to consume such shakes in moderation as long as they do not contain any unsafe ingredients. That said, you should strive to maintain a balance in your diet and to take in a proper amount of calories. Although you will not likely damage your digestive system by upsetting this balance, you may jeopardize your health by becoming malnourished. Get a consultation with a dietary specialist for anyone who wishes to lose weight and/or to eat better to become more physically fit.

Have you ever found yourself sitting on the couch eating too much pizza while returning to a hard day? Or have you ever felt so happy about being at a party or occasion that you threw your diet to wind and ate an entire cake? Take your emotional eating patterns and end them once and for all! Here are some tips that will make you want to stop and think before you dig in!

Conquer the craving

I give in to the little devil on my shoulder, but I eat “healthy” snacks like yogurt or fruits and veggies. Then I allow myself one of my favorite cookies, or a few chips. If I’ve already had plenty of healthy food, I’m not likely to be as hungry. The cookie is really just the cherry on the yogurt, so to speak. –Chris

I’ve found that I’m sensitive to sugar and white flour. These two components cause my insulin level to fluctuate and alter my moods. Cutting down on these foods decrease my need to eat. –Allen

Drink water first!

You know you really should drink more water. It’s good for you. It makes you look and feel great and fills you up. I’m not saying replace food with water. But it helps to stay hydrated and have a glass of water before you give into cravings. Sometimes you think you are hungry, but you’re really thirsty.

Keep baby carrots in the fridge and binge out on them. If you want something really sweet, keep peeled bananas in the freezer and then, when needed, put them in a blender and have a healthy version of ice cream. You’ll feel like you splurged on sinful ice cream but you haven’t.

Take a time-out

I tell myself to wait five or ten minutes before I can go get that chocolate bar. By the time I can “officially” have the candy, I no longer crave it as much!

Take five minutes to do some deep breathing, yoga or tai chi. Try to focus only on your breath, or visualize yourself as healthy and curvy and doing an activity you enjoy. –Ann

Move it!

Put on a pair of walking shoes and go out for a walk or some other type of physical activity. That will take your mind off of eating “bad for you” food.

Exercise is a great idea. A kickboxing class or some type of high intensity aerobics clears your mind and helps you forget about your craving. –David

Write on…

Keep a journal. This will really help you feel empowered against those negative habits. Write down alternatives to eating, so when you’ve had a bad day and want to munch mindlessly, you have a list of other things you can do. Make sure they’re pleasurable, so when you’re in the middle of a bad day, you’ll have something to look forward to!

Your journal, talk with your urge. Say a host of crazy things. But let it speak. Go on and on. Ask questions. Most of the time it just runs out of steam. But the point is to hear it out. The food shuts it up, but allow your urges to be heard and understood.

Pamper yourself

Talk back to that little voice inside your head that whispers “Eat!” and suggest alternatives: doing something creative; taking a hot bubble bath with candlelight, music and small glass of wine; reading; or — although it could be dangerous — shopping!

I reward myself with other things that make me happy, like getting my hair done and regular manicures and pedicures. These things are what really fulfill me.

Talk it out

I call a friend for a good heart-to-heart — this helps me get to the bottom of why I’m feeling sad or depressed. It takes my attention away from food and focuses it on myself

Get Creative!

Just imagine you are marooned on a desert island for two months (or whatever time you are dieting for) and the only food available is fruits and veggies. Even if you do have chocolate ice cream, remember that it is in limited stock and has to last till the ship comes along! This way, even if you feel tempted, you will have to eat very little.

I pretend I’m someone I admire — either fictional or real. How would they handle it? Scarlet O’Hara wouldn’t let herself pig out on ice cream!

I only recently came to realise how important it is to be physically fit before bearing a child — years of exercise helped ensure that I had a smooth pregnancy and delivery. One hears about prenatal and postnatal exercises, but enough is not stressed on the importance of having a regular workout schedule much before you plan a baby, which is actually what helps you most!

Genetics play a vital role in conceiving a child so it’s not just you who should start on a regular fitness routine and healthy diet — get ready-to-be in on the action too! The right time to begin exercising is as soon as you read this, if you aren’t working out already. It’s never too early to start exercising.

Regular cardiovascular, strength and flexibility training benefit the body in innumerable ways. However, I will only refer to the benefits for pregnancy.

Cardiovascular training like walking, aerobics, swimming or cycling increases stamina, making you feel less fatigued during pregnancy and after. It also raises your metabolic level, making you burn fat more efficiently which in turn prevents you from putting on excessive weight during pregnancy and gets you back to pre-pregnancy state faster after delivery. It’s almost miraculous!

Strength training, more commonly referred to as weight training or body toning, strengthens the muscles of the body, making them tight and firm. Taut muscles help you carry the baby better, prevent back problems and other aches and pains. Owing to the firmness, the muscle recovery post delivery is quicker, often appearing like you didn’t have a baby at all!

A flexible body suffers far less injuries like muscle pulls, twisted ankles, sprains etc as well as stiffness, which result in aches in the prenatal phase.

Conditioning the body through regular exercise much before planning the baby helps to keep your body in top condition when you conceive and holds you through the full pregnancy term a lot better than someone who hasn’t worked out, or who starts working out after seeing the positive pregnancy test result!

Fitness Point

~ Select from walking, aerobics, swimming or cycling for your cardiovascular workout. The frequency should be three to four days a week for at least 30 minutes at a non-stop brisk pace. You should feel your heart rate go up and reasonable fatigue by the end of the workout. Start off with a five to seven minute warm-up by performing the same activity at a medium pace and round off with another five to seven minute cool down where you lower the pace again.

~ For your strength training, you can work with weights, resistance tubes or the stability ball. Either join a gym or strength training class. If you aren’t keen or cant make the time to go to the gym or a class, attend just a few sessions to learn the exercises and get proper guidance so you can then do them at home. Some aerobics classes also include strength training. An aerobics class is one of the best choices since it covers all the forms of training you need.

The basic exercises you can do even at home are elaborated upon in the following pages. Perform 16 reps of each — rest and repeat. Complete one repetition in four seconds.